Unequally Yolked

I read a blog about unequal marriage... spiritually unequal marriage... it's actually called that, and lately they've been writing about "Out-Loving" their spouses. The blog is written as wives being married to spiritually indigent husbands, and I myself, was once such a wife. So I read it. I, of course, do not plan to marry outside of my beliefs again, but these ideas are great for ALL marriages. Showing extra love and kindness and compassion. Really allowing the love they have for their spouse shine through by doing EXACTLY what the Lord commands us to do... Submit. Aha! The 4 letter word is back! Submit in this case to God and love our husbands! Love him with the love of the Lord! When I was married I tried to submit... I did! I tried! I was submitting to the wrong person. If I had submitted to the Lord, he could have taken over the situation. I submitted to the man and nothing ever changed and things, in fact, got worse. LAME! So, at this time in my life where I am single, I am taking the opportunity to learn from those women who are knowledgeable. Teach me how YOU love someone outside of our faith, so I can better prepare myself to love someone who SHARES my faith! Slam dunk for me! Marriage and relationships aren't perfect, there is no perfect, however, they can be wonderful, and full of joy and excitement and merriment. Sigh. This girl believes. I'm going to leave you with a link and these thoughts to write another article... one of much more serious substance.

Link to the Spiritually Unequal Marriage
or copy/paste this to the address bar...www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2011/10/out-love-your-spouse-the-result.html?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzEmail&utm_campaign=0&utm_content=520724

Regards, Jen

CA-125

My client has cancer... in case you didn't know. Today we went for an appointment with her oncologist and he checked her blood as always. Before I tell you the news, I'm going to explain one of the blood tests.

The test is called a CA-125. CA stands for Cancer Antigen. It's a test that records the cancer protein marker in the blood. My client started all of this in January with a CA-125 of 174. That's pretty high. She finally started receiving treatment in the end of July beginning of August. Right now, after her third round of chemo, October 19 2011 her CA-125 is a whopping 10! It's gone down 164 points after 3 chemo rounds! That's amazing! We will know more in a few weeks. We have another round of chemo next week and then a PET scan scheduled to look at the cancer site and see what's going on. We went into this knowing that chemo has a 30-40% chance of being useful. Total praise just for this much to have happened! God is certainly bigger than anything we're dealing with down here!

Love and Prayers, Jen

Repairs

My clients home is being remodeled. It started with a leak from the air conditioner drip pan that ruined the floor. It became so much more! We called the property manager and reported that there seemed to be a leak which is molding and discoloring the floor. She came and looked and said my client had obviously lost control of her bladder and ruined the floor. WHAT?!?!? After 3 visits to the house she FINALLY called a contractor and the owner to come look. The contractor gave the option to either repair the spot that was damaged or replace the whole floor throughout the house... LIGHTBULB! What a PERFECT time to remodel. So we're dealing with partial floors and alot of deconstruction! THEN, the water heater started leaking, so I called the property manager again. She came out, looked at the leak and said, "No it's not the water heater." The water puddle, and the stains from previous puddles, were coming DIRECTLY FROM THE WATER HEATER! I just called the contractor at that point. Asked him to please send someone out so THEY could tell her the water heater is leaking.

Yesterday we got our new water heater, today the men came to put in the kitchen floor. Next come ripping out counters, cupboards, and both bathrooms entirely. Then painting the remaining cupboards, and putting granite counter tops in. They are gutting one bathroom at a time and completely remodeling it.


I LOVE the guys who are working here. They're funny and nice and we couldn't have a better crew to work with. I just wish it were all over. ~Jen

Soy = Estrogen!

Nifty note: Soy turns into Estrogen! Kind of... Soy has properties called phytoestrogens which is estrogen LIKE but derived from a plant. I'm kind of excited! When we were at chemotherapy there was a gal who came for a port flush and we ladies started discussing cramps and, well you know, girly things. She mentioned that her cramps were getting so severe that she almost couldn't function. And there really wasn't alot that could be done for her because of drug interactions. She spoke to her doctor who said Estrogen would help and that she should try drinking soy milk to get the phytoestrogen from it. She said it helped immensely! As I get older, my cramps are really severe, and so is my PMS. I know it's not discussed very often, but I'm buying soy milk as soon as I'm off work. If it will help alleviate that kind of pain, I'm for it.

Okay, Jeremy, I know this doesn't really pertain to you, cause you're a guy, so I'm sorry about the girly content. I tried to be delicate for you! :)

For those of you who don't know, Jeremy is my best friend and he reads my blog as I read his. As of now, we have no secrets. :)

Regards, Jen

Dancing and mourning

We went to Chemotherapy yesterday.

I'm going to start with the mourning and end with the dancing... because it's the way it happened, AND because it's nice to have something positive to move to.

Chemo was another 8 1/2 hour day. There weren't very many people there, a few port flushes came in but not many. We found out that one of the women passed on Monday. It was the wife of the couple I spoke of earlier. Chemo affects everyone hard, but for her, she got it all and then some. Every side effect mentioned, she suffered from. It's hard to lose "one of our own." I'm in the club now, because I have a vested interest. And because of my pink doughnut box. :)

Thoughts and prayers go out to Marlene's family in this time, and especially surround her husband as he is dealing with this loss AND still fighting his battle with the C word.

Lord, at this time I lift up Marlene's family, that they may see the blessing in her passing. That they may rejoice that she is safe in Your arms, not hurting, or being sick anymore. Please wrap Your arms around her husband, that he may find strength in You and not give up his fight with this sickness. Lord, losing a fellow cancer patient bring a sense of loss and pain and defeat into our recliner community. Please restore the hearts of those still battling as well. In the sweet name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

Now for the dancing. Later in the afternoon our friend Sam came in to be taken off of his pump. Sam was a football player "back in the day" and you can still see how strong he was. He ALWAYS has a smile on his face, and makes the most of everyday.

As soon as he was taken off his pump he bee-lined toward the doughnuts and then sat and chatted for a bit. I mentioned that he almost did a jig when he was finally un-plugged. Sam said he couldn't dance, then immediately said he could, but not now. Teasing, I said,"Come on Sam,show us!" And he did. I saw him hesitate, and I worried for a minute that he was too tired, but soon he had found a song he liked and started busting a move! He danced well. The nurse who hooks us all the IV's and changes the medicine and such missed the dance and between the 2 of us we got Sam to dance one more time.

I know he was tired, but I think the thought of NOT dancing was like saying he couldn't. He found the energy and did it, just so Cancer didn't have the final say. I didn't feel guilty yesterday, I visited, and laughed, and made other people laugh, and of course, brought the pink box. I've added a picture of the recliners and if you look on the desk, you can see the pink box of doughnuts that we brought. Just enough brightness to make people smile.

Regards, Jen

Do Everything You Do...

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song. Reminding us to "do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you". (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3YLJCOKOzM&feature=related) My friend Meghan posted the song on my wall on Facebook and was I ever convicted.

You see when I was married, I was blessed (?!) to get to stay home while my husband worked. I made bread, picked up the house, did laundry, cooked, cleaned... you know, I was June Cleaver minus the pearls and skirt. I didn't do so well at first, I was having trouble with housekeeping and such, but I did get the hang of it and did pretty well.

Now, I work 72 hours a week, and I'm going to be honest, when I get home I don't want to cook. I want to shower and relax. I don't want to do laundry. I want to read and be with my daughter. I don't want to clean. I want to write, and maybe do a craft.

Yesterday I cooked 3 meals in advance. Goulash, Taco meat, and a Chile Relleno Quiche. I did my dishes, managed to do 2 loads of laundry, and help my mom build a dog run. Last night I felt I had accomplished something. This morning not so much.

This morning, (as my daughter's karate outfit is tumbling in the dryer, and I look for my keys, find her shoes in the kitchen and race out the door.) I feel like I forgot who I'm supposed to be doing everything for. I'm convinced we aren't meant to be parenting alone. We aren't meant to be divided the way I am now. Guess I need to remember what it is to be the p31 in training. Because somehow, I lost who's glory I'm supposed to be working for.

This message is coming to you from underneath a large pile of laundry. Clean, but not yet folded and put away.

Regards, One Sad Mom

Good Men... I know they're out there

As a single mom I am always on the lookout for good men. Not to date necessarily, but just to recognize as a good man. Good husbands and fathers specifically.

I read a blog faithfully, as I've mentioned many times before. He is a dad who is all about raising his son to the best of his abilities. He's certainly not perfect, and I'm not saying he is without flaws, but he puts himself out there and leads by example and TREASURES his child!

I watch a vlog on YouTube about a family from the state I call home. The family consists of Mom, dad, and 4 kids. No, they're not perfect, he's not perfect, but their life fits into their family perfection plan. On camera, which is alot of their life, he's loving and fun and attentive. He not just loves his wife, but is IN love with his life. He wants to raise their kids and give them an opportunity to see him succeed!

Both men, are following their dreams. Both, took a shot and decided to blog and vlog and see if any success amounted from it. Both are devoted to their kids, and the one married is very devoted to his wife.

What happened to men like that? Why are they so hard to find? Why do so many men take vows they don't take seriously and make kids who they later just want to throw away?

WOMEN DO IT TOO! But, I'm a woman and men just seem to do it more often.

My daughter wants a dad. That has been her wish since she was 4. Every birthday and every Christmas, she wants a dad. I don't want a relationship JUST because my kid wants a dad, I want a loving marriage that benefits all involved. Since I don't see that happening anytime soon, I'm content to stay single. I fear though, that my daughter is missing someone vitally important in her life simply because it is so easy to be a dead beat parent.

My best friend would make a wonderful husband and father someday so I chalk him up to the good guys too... Someday some woman is going to find a loving, loyal, Christian man in my best friend.

So that makes 3. So,to Jeremy (http://lifeandtreasure.blogspot.com/), Shay Carl (http://www.youtube.com/shaytards), and Danoah (http://www.danoah.com) thanks for being the good guys! Also, my fellow bloggers husband Mr. Amazing can join the group. If it weren't for them, my faith in love, family and relationships would be a far cry from where it is...