Thoughts (this just tumbled out)

I'm homesick and heartsick
Lonely and sad
Sometimes I feel like
I'm not enough

No matter how much I work,
Or how much I give
I feel so dead inside
All i want is to live

I want to not be afraid
I want to fight through the pain
I want to slow my life down
I want to cry in the rain

I want to write more than some
Outdated cliches
I want to be real and loud
I want to smile in the rain.

I want to live life out loud
Stand my own ground
I want to stay strong and true
I want to fight God for You

I want to know love someday
I want to know peace and pray
I scream in my pillow
When life goes astray

It's just me and You
That much is true
I lean on Your Grace
And that see's me through

Your lift up my heart
When it's laid on the ground
You seek my heart
When I'm lost You are found

You're hide to my seek
For You I'm enough
You open me up
When I'm acting too tough

You are my rest and reserve
You're my Prince and my Crown
You're the One I rely on
When I've fallen down

Jennifer Grimm 12-29-10

A common question is "have you ever been in love?" I've always said no. I like to think i have but, love never ends. I realized that today when my heart was breaking (I'm not sure why) that I have been in love, I AM in love. My Savior loves me more than anyone could ever love me. He will NEVER let me down, NEVER give up on me, and NEVER say I am not who I am meant to be. I have what He wants for me, JOY, the JOY of knowing that while I'm not exactly happy, I am BLESSED and JOYFUL, and right where He needs me to be. Oh Lord, I love you! Sometimes I fear that my journey will always be a lonely one, and I have to remind myself that I am NEVER alone. I have one more post for tomorrow. One more bit of rambling of 2010. But, for now, I am off my shift, on my way home, ready for some much needed conversation with my God. My Love. Sleep well.

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Night Before an original inspired by a classic

twas the night before christmas and all through the land

every soldier was stirring with guns in their hand

no stockings were hung by the chimneys there

A palpable silence hung in the air

We civilians were nestled all snug in our beds

while the thought if our safety hung in their heads

With Johnson on duty, and Smith at his right

We were assured, a snug winter's night

When out from the East there arose such a clatter

Johnson sighted in, to see what was the matter

Calmly and steady he scanned the hillside

Then he chuckled and said, "Everything's alright."

The sun on the sand did little for heat

And standing for hours is hard on the feet

When what to exhausted eyes did appear

Airman Rio to say that shift change is near!

With his weapon at ready, eyes wide from his rest

He took on our safety, another best of the best.

He'd been dreaming of Christmas, the dinner at least

And he'd dreamed of his mama preparing the feast

The Goose and the Roast and the puddings and yams

The taters, and pies and the cranberry jam!

To the fun and the laughter, the family and friends

His mom and his dad, their love without end.

These thoughts flooded silence as he sat still his post

Remembering those at home he loved most.

The reason he sat in this very spot

The safety, the security, he's afforded this lot.

He's dressed all in green, from his head to his toe

Camouflaged smartly, and ready to go.

His M16 gun, he had slung on his back

Socks and MRE's he had stuffed in his pack

His eyes, always scanning, his ears on alert

His mouth always silent, his seat in the dirt,

His hair is cut high, like a soldiers must be

The words "do or die", he can look down to see

The soldiers give every part of themselves

And I pray when I see them in spite of my self

"Sweet Father please keep them safe and warm,

And deliver them Lord, from any and all harm,

Thank You for soldiers, who keep safe our land

Give them strength and endurance, from Your Mighty hand

On this Christmas Eve, while nestled in our beds,

May we all give thanks, with a bowing of heads,

For the men and the women, standing all night

To keep us all safe, til the dawns early light,

For every moment sacrificed, with ones that they love,

That they should be guarded by the One from above."

Jennifer Grimm 12 24 2010

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Unlovable Me

So as a Christian I crave knowledge of the Word. I've been to several different churches, bible studies, and different kinds of meetings. I was at a Bible study once when everyone started talking about love. Romantic love, God's love, love for other Christians, just love in general. All found themselves speaking of a man in town named Lloyd. Lloyd had fought in Korea, he'd served his country, been wounded in battle and had many scars to show for it. Lloyd was someone you had to look at but also needed to look away from. He was a man of little means, his clothes ragged and torn. His home was modest and because he was mostly blind it was very unkempt and run down. Every morning he would walk through town, have breakfast, get his mail, shop a little, and my daughter and her aunt and cousin were about 2 at the time I knew Lloyd. Every morning they would see him, run to him screaming "Lloyd Lloyd!", like he was the greatest thing around. He'd smile his toothless smile, hug each child in turn, and watch whatever antic the girls had to show him. He was always kind, he moved slowly, and spoke softly. He was a man. A real hero.
Now at this Bible study the people were telling each other how they cringed when he came by, how they couldn't bear to look at him, how as cashiers they hated to wait on him. Their point was that it is often difficult to love the unlovely. That the unlovely are in fact, unlovable. I said," The girls love him. He's kind to them, and the scars he bears are from defending our country. They're from being a hero." They said, "It takes someone unlovable to love the unlovely." This group of my brothers and sisters in Christ, judged me on my appearances, and Lloyd even though, his smile always reached his eyes (well his good eye), he was always kind to others, he was always gentle. I'm not always gentle, I'll stand up for anyone who can't fight for themselves, I am sometimes loud, I am not always kind (sometimes it's difficult), but this Christmas, as I remember it is the season of love, I count myself fortunate to be unlovable. I have not fought for my country, I haven't done anything significant, but when it comes down to it, I'll stand up for anyone who needs it, and I'll share God's love with anyone that will listen. I'm an unlovable warrior on this earth. That's okay because God's love is all I need. Merry Christmas! Share God's love with someone, anyone who needs it, unlovely or not!

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Christmas Sadness

As Christmas fast approaches, I am pulled down into my usual rut of sadness. I, of course, feel joy because I have my Lord, and my daughter and loved ones, but this post I dedicate to my little boy, my daughter's half brother Isaiah.

Dear Isaiah,
I'm writing this letter to you, as I do every year, to tell you my son that we miss you and love you. That we've had a good but weird year, I worked a lot and was gone a lot. Your sister missed you everyday, every hour, every minute, just as I do. Thinking of you and hoping you are well and happy and well cared for. Worrying about you every day.

In August I met my father, my step mother and two more brothers and Son, they'd love you so much if you were here. You'd be scooped into their loving arms and devoured and loved.

Your grandmother has clammed up and holds her love and fear for you tight inside. The 25th is just around the corner and we will sing to you our birthday wishes, have a celebration of your life, and cry just a little.

You won't know me when you're grown, but I love you and always will, like any mother who's had their child ripped from their arms. You, my Son, are my heart. Goodnight Boy. And Happy birthday. ~Mommy


Lord, I ask of You this Christmas, to allow my eyes to stay fast on You. That you ease my heart of this painful burden, and help Sarah and I to heal. Lord, it's been so long since this child has been away and, yet, for me it could have been yesterday. Father, please hear the plea of this mother, that You keep him close to You. Be protective of His body, mind and soul, and let us one day meet again. In Your Precious Name I pray, Amen.

Love

Do you always feel the Lord's love for you? Do you ever think He has left you? I've always seen the Lord as perfect. He is my Perfect Father, my Perfect husband, and He is the only One who can love me completely. I have a friend, my best friend in some respects, who doesn't feel His love always. He can say that the Lord loves me. He can tell the kids he takes care of that the Lord loves them, but when it comes to himself it's not the same. He see's the Lord as an extension of his imperfect father.

None of us are worthy of the love Christ has for us. No man is deserving of the love and grace and mercy that He gives us. But it doesn't mean He isn't giving it. God is a jealous God. He loves us so much that He is jealous for our affections. I don't know if you have, but I have loved someone and been jealous of their time, and love. If you have then you understand.

God wants everything. Our hearts and our minds and He wants to be the center of our lives. He wants to see us grow and show the same mercy and love and forgiveness to others that He shows us. We are so undeserving of those things and yet, we cast judgment and decide who and when people get mercy and love and forgiveness from us. The Lord is IN LOVE with us. We are His. He is my perfect Parent. He loves me, He always has my back, but when I do something fool hearty, I am rebuked. He disciplines as a loving parent disciplines. How awesome to have that Perfection in my corner! How amazing to know that even when I feel unloved or not good enough or lonely there He is!

When I am lonely He is there, all I have to do is call out to Him. When I am tired and I feel burnt out, I can call Him. When I need rest and I am bogged down... Yep I call Him! I have been His child since day one. My earthy fathers have in some way let me down. Oh I love them, but they are far from perfect. My Heavenly Father NEVER leaves me, NEVER abuses me, NEVER lets me down. He ALWAYS gives me good council, ALWAYS rebukes me gently, ALWAYS answers me.

I am never truly alone. My love, my heart, my God, my ever faithful Father. I am so blessed to be His. Please know, He loves you so much. Every breath, every step, is amazing. You are His child too and He is so in love with you! Brothers and sisters take heart! He will NEVER leave you! He is with you ALWAYS! You are His now and forever!
Don't fight it, He won't ever stop. Be blessed this Christmas and share and enjoy the true and wonderful love of Christ!

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Dear Santa.... or not.

Dear Santa,
It's been a long year. I wasn't ALWAYS good, but it's so hard. Anyway here it is.
1. I want a job with little to no responsibility.
2. The job MUST pay very well.
3. I want a brand new car. Custom. That everyone will notice and be jealous of.
4. I want to win the lottery. I don't want to work ever.
5. I want a mansion. My own T.V. show. and a Hot Husband.
6. I want botox, and lyposuction.
7. I want a to marry a wealthy man, and have affairs with hot men behind his back.
8. I want to be barren because abortions are time consuming.
9. I want a huge wardrobe that shows as much skin as possible.
10. As for the kids I already have, give them what they want and give me the money to send them to boarding school.

Santa, if you give me all these things I promise to be good next year!


Dear Jesus,
Please give me the spirit of giving and making this Holiday all about You. Help me to bring the reason for the Holiday to people who might not even know. Lord, let me bring You to someone who doesn't know You. Let me be a beacon of light to my family and friends and help re direct this day away from the jolly fat man and selfishness and onto You and giving to others and being merciful as You did and You are. And Lord, the woman who wrote that letter above is real. You know that. I don't know her and I can't help her. If You bring her to me, I will try and share You with her. Lord, let me be a disciple for You this Season! That is my Christmas prayer. With all the love in my heart, Your daughter and Servant ~Jen

Merry Christmas to all of you! May the Lord shine bright in your homes and hearts this Holiday Season!

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Life Verse

Everyone has a favorite verse or verses in the Bible. I'd never heard of a life verse until about 2 years ago. I didn't know what it was at all. Another blogger Christine Smith describes a life verse this way "Where do you look now, when the meaning of life verse is not in Wikipedia or Merriam Webster? You look inside your own heart for the meaning! Deep down inside, you have a special life poem, life words, life prayer, or life saying. These important words have become your own life verse, the drive behind your decision making process, the motivation for your work, your life vest during an emergency. Life Verse. Important words to an individual person." I could not sum it up any better than that. I was in a the Christian Book Store and found a ring that said *Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5* and I was moved by this. My mom said it was her life verse and I kind of felt bad because it meant something to me. It still does but I like to say I "borrowed" her life verse until I could find one of my own. A verse that speaks to me. Anything I read in the Bible speaks to me, but you know your life verse when you read it. I was reading in Luke and a passage jumped out at me and my heart said "This is it!" So here it is in all it's glory, my life verse *Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 * It speaks to me and my beliefs. It reminds me to be faithful in my convictions. It tells me that sometimes to be a strong woman of faith I will be criticized and insulted, but if I am strong and firm I will be blessed. I encourage you to find your life verse if you haven't yet. I encourage you to let the Lord guide you on your journey and help you to be strong in your faith. That He give you the words to speak and stand out and be a mouthpiece for the Lord. Until next time...

The link to Christine Smith's article about Life Verses is here: /www.lifeverseblog.com/2009/03/23/what-is-a-life-verse/

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Til death parts us... unless someone better comes along

I feel (and I could be wrong, it wouldn't be the first time) that we don't take the Lord seriously. I joke and find humor in my faith and I feel that God also has a sense of humor. Someone very close to me fell in love. (Awwwww) With his best friends wife. Now this woman was in a rocky relationship with her husband of several years, they were supposedly of a church (a big one) and had 4 kids. Happily ever after. The husband found himself enamored of a woman he worked with. Instead of transferring away from her, instead of coming clean and finding an elder to talk to, he continued and eventually fell. Wife found out. (We always find out) She hedged about their relationship and said she was deciding on whether they should stay together, she spent a lot of time with the person close to me and that became inappropriate. He fell in love. She decided that she wasn't "religious" but "spiritual". The man who fell for her is not a strong man. He's innocent and has not had experiences like this and decided he is more "spiritual" than "religious" as well. While they did not engage in sex they did "fool around" a bit and then she began to push him away... I received the call, of a crushed man who didn't understand. She had decided to stay with her husband and now posts all kinds of "religious" quotes on her facebook page and quotes about how she loves her husband dearly and how amazing he is. I understand. I've actually been in a similar situation, but when I was married my husband was all I saw. I didn't look for other men, I was sadly abused and neglected and I still stayed true to my vow. Even after he had a child with another woman I stayed alone until he realized his mistake. It is so easy to say, I'm finished with this marriage. We are a society of selfish people. "I want what I want how I want it now!" "Until death do we part" is said, but so often it's really "Until I find someone better". How sad is that? Or married couples who engage in sex with other people or swap wives, or have orgies? Whenmy husband stepped out on me I was CRUSHED because he was mine. No one else knew him the way I did. No one knew where his birthmark was, or thought it was as cute as I did, then all of a sudden there was this woman ready to compare notes. When we say our vows we're not vowing to each other, that is a covenant with God. "I will love and cherish and take care of and nurture and respect and OBEY this man forever. Until You Lord separate us in death." We seem to forget the fact that a mere 20 years ago divorce was still pretty taboo. It was a bit more accepted but it wasn't rampant. There was a respect for the covenant. This world is such a mess. It's so incredibly complicated, and I wonder if God ever looks over it and thinks "Why did I say no more floods?" It used to mean something to be married. Now it's enough to live together and have kids and people really only get married because of money, status, and having a wedding. If weddings were not a status symbol and all about the bride, people would be content to live together and have babies out of wedlock. I feel sorry for people. No matter what your faith, whether you have some or not, everyone will stand before God in judgment. I have to be accountable for myself and I think I am prepared to do that. I just couldn't imagine having little or no faith and standing before the Lord and having to say, "Sorry I didn't take You seriously. I was just messing around. I didn't mean it."

Okay guys and also I found my life verse, so I've changed my signature. I'll blog about that in a little bit.

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22 *

Thanksgiving ~

So it's Thanksgiving, Turkey Day, The Day of Food! What are you thankful for? Me? First of all, right off the top, my family. My parents: my Mom, Neener, Bob, Sarah. My brothers, Joe, Josh, Nathan. My daughter Sarah, my life, my breath, my baby. My family beyond them, my friends who are family.... You know what I am thankful for this year? Salvation. Having a loving God who NEVER FAILS me. I'm thankful for second chances, and third chances too. Okay, I'll say it, I'm thankful for Thanksgiving dinner. Not the food, mind you, but the closeness and togetherness. The gathering of friends and family and love and cheer. How JOYFUL it is to be surrounded by those we love! To be surrounded by the Love of a God who never fails! I'm so blessed and thankful today! Have Happy Thanksgiving, and when it's your turn to say what you're thankful for, be thankful for the salvation offered!

Love and Prayers to you and all of yours,

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

50/50 Pet Peeve

Perfect
Pet Peeve I
Pet Peeve II

Okay I am strange. I don't deny it, and, in fact, embrace it most of the time. I have several pet peeves and they're usually ridiculous things, such as: if you were to make me a sandwich the bread needs to face the same way. The top of each piece of bread MUST face the same way. And yes, bread has a top. Will it hurt me? No. Will it cause an illness or change the course of the world? No. Will it annoy me? Yeah. Is it stupid? Yeah. Do I still get annoyed? Yeah. ANYHOW~ The 50/50 Pet Peeve is a little different. I was watching Wife Swap today (a silly indulgence really) and the woman said "My marriage is a fifty fifty partnership." That's alright I guess, but I am annoyed because it should be a 100/100 partnership. I don't want my husband to love me fifty percent of the time, I need him to have my back one hundred percent of the time. Marriages don't keep banker's hours. I need to know that thick or thin I can count on my husband ALL the time! My husband should know that I have his back 100% of the time as well. I used to have antiquated views on marriage. I would stay home and my husband would support me and my kids, and even had a marriage like that for 5 years. I'll tell you what did happen, he worked when he felt like it, quit when he wanted to, refused to help do anything with our daughter and later his son (after he cheated on me). He yelled, he was abusive, he was mean and NEVER had my back. He never stood up for me, he let his brother and parents berate and belittle me, I got sad, mad, depressed, and fat. I gained over 100 pounds in the course of 15 months. Is it my fault I let it go that far? Yes. Is it my fault I gained weight? Yes. Would I have if I had had a healthy marriage? Probably not. Husbands and wives, stop having 50/50 marriages. Have 100/100 marriages. Each 100% devoted to God and then your spouse. Stop trying to keep banker's hours. Don't be a loving, respectful supportive spouse 9-5, try it all the time. Do you have to be a doormat? No. Do you have to allow someone to abuse you? No. Let's start giving 100/100 percent marriages and spreading the word about it. Who wants 50/50 when we can have it all? Not me. If and when I find Mr. Right in the flesh, that's what I want. I'll give you one hundred percent of me if you give me one hundred percent of you. Deal? And for now, one hundred percent of me is a whole lot! :) <--- (That was a fat joke) For now I'll keep giving God all I've got, cause He ALWAYS has my back!

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Tin Can Prayer Phone (Daddy can You hear me?)

Here it is! Don't judge too harshly, an artiste I am not, but it was in there and, well, I like the idea of prayer as a tin can phone to God. Makes me think of my first pair of walkie talkies. I would stand in another room with my finger smashed against the button saying "Daddy! Daddy? Daddy! Hello Daddy can you hear me?" and hear from the front room "Jennifer! Take your fingers off the button!" Here I am 20 some years later and a different Father answers sometimes "Take your hand away!"

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

The ONE (Mr. Right for Me)

I'm not traditional. I used to be. I used to see the white picket fence through my rose colored glasses. Ward Cleaver bringing home the bacon, me in my pearls with 2.5 kids. My ex husband not only ripped my rose colored glasses off my face, but then jumped up and down on them until they were obliterated. The world is a very scary place, and one the one hand it's scary to be alone, though sometimes scarier to let someone new in. When I was younger my friends and I would whisper in the dark on sleepovers about Mr. Right. How tall, eye color, kindness, gentleness, humor, faith... Faith was always a big one. It surprises me now that even then we said, "He has to be a christian." With rosy red embarrassment creeping into my cheeks I will humor you and say this. When I was young my Mr. Right had to have these qualifications: He had to be taller than me and older than me. He had to be kind, a Christian, of course, and love to laugh. He had to be, in my mind, larger than life and be ready and willing to protect me if need be. (Abuse made that important to me.) Basically I had be able to feel safe and secure. Over the years my standards have changed. I now have a daughter to think about, and some things are less important than others. I really have no physical description because it's not important to me. I still think an older man would be best because guys my age are still being boys, and I'm a ready made family now. He still has to share my faith, but more than that we need to see eye to eye on specific topics. Whether to have more children or not is up in the air, but the most important is this. I want a Godly man who will have my back no matter what. Who will stand behind me, back to back, and be my partner. In this world filled with so much sin and depravity, I just want that one man who will be there fighting the good fight right beside me. The man who knows that I have his back and knows I will stand strong knows he can lean on me when he needs to and allows me to lean on him when I need to. Who will be the father my daughter needs.

Sometimes, I feel alone, and then I remember; I am the most fortunate woman alive! I have the perfect Father for my daughter. I have the perfect Husband. He is older than I am, He is Holy and Perfect and Everything. He has my back no matter what. He loves me always and rebukes me gently when He must. He knows what is best for Our daughter and He helps me to make the right choices for her. He guides and directs me. Sometimes I have to be reminded, but when I trust Him and obey Him and submit and surrender to Him I am so blessed by His love. Having been married before, I sometimes miss physical contact and just lying next to someone talking in the dark... I have prayed before for the Lord to lay His hand on me for comfort and He has. Ever faithful is my God! I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am truly blessed, I have found The ONE. I have found Mr. Right, and He isn't who I thought it would be.

And guess what! Someday my Prince will come! (Disney had it right!)

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

The Hood (single parenthood)

What a fiasco! I've been a pretty "roll with it" kind of parent. I get blindsided sometimes but if I roll with it, I find, I come out relatively unscathed. I always know that God has a plan and I'm comfortable with that. However, last night I was admiring my daughter and I became afraid. My daughter knows her mind and has her whole life. She is a child and has, of course, lied on occasion, but she doesn't make a practice of it because it makes her feel bad. She has a hard time lying which is to my benefit. She is physically beautiful, and it is both a blessing and a curse. She has strength of character that is unparalleled. As I watched her playing makeover I panicked! I saw her transform from a beautiful little girl to a stunning young lady. I literally could not catch my breath, because someday soon, sooner than I even realize, she will be grown. She will be independent, and will no longer seek my guidance. She already thinks she knows everything. I think also, that this was not God's plan. He planned for a child to be reared by a mother and father and here I am doing my absolute best on my own. Is my best enough? Am I enough? Will she be who she was born to be with only me as a parent? I am afraid. I'll persevere, and with the Lord's guidance I'm sure I'll make it through. But it is a cold and lonely place sometimes... this single parenthood. I know God's got my back, I know He is behind me, but I'm still afraid. If it were only affecting me I'd go, and yet it's more than that, it affects the one I love more than my own flesh, and it makes me afraid.

--
*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Convenient Denominations (The ME Church)

So, I was wondering... I'd like to find a church that worships at 3 AM is completely Woman Powered, making sure to badmouth men at every given opportunity, oh and of course, let's refer to God as a woman too... The sad thing, I probably can find that church. If not, I could make up and have a nice band of followers. We're in the age of the ME church. I want church MY way just like Burger King. If I can't have it MY way then I won't go. I won't call denominations into question just yet (my respectful nod to the ME church I guess) but let's just say you're a man, and you're on the couch watching T.V., no interest in God whatsoever, when all of a sudden the news comes on. Before you have the chance to flip the channel it's a story about a Polygamist Camp Bust. Hold on! Wait a minute! These guys have the market cornered. "Religion" AND women! The ME church! The churches that cater to homosexuality: No consequences or anything, "God loves you not matter what you do (TRUE) and He/She just wants you to be happy." (NOT TRUE) However, if I were a homosexual, I'd want to go to church where I didn't have to be accountable for my sin. The ME church. It's everywhere! From extreme cases to more subtle cases. It can be as simple as a pastor who refuses to call sin sin. He may not want to be called on the Politically Correct Carpet, or he may have been approached by someone who felt the consequences of sin are offensive. Now, the pastor, not wanting to lose any of his "flock" will tone down his sermons a bit. "Repent on Sunday for what you've been up to all week." (Take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning) Physicians Heal Thyselves! Stand strong to pressure from parishioners! Sin is sin! The Bible is the One True Word of God and no other. The ME church has got to go! Offend me and make me accountable for my sin! The lord convicts me anyway don't sugar coat the serious ramifications of sin!

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Prayer (please God please)

Often you hear, "Finally I prayed because there was nothing left to do." I was/am guilty of not praying faithfully. Not spending that time with the Lord every day. Prayer used to be such a foreign thing to me. It was "Please God let me do good on that test tomorrow." "Please God if you help me this ONE time I promise..." and turned into "God, I'm scared, I'm done, I quit. That's okay right?" I think back on many of those times and realize that had I prayed FIRST, I'd have had His answer. I find that I make things harder on myself than they have to be. It's a matter of surrendering to God's Perfect Will and allowing Him to control our lives. I recently had a situation where I knew what I wanted and I prayed for it. More than that I prayed that He have His way and help remind me to surrender and obey. I still struggle with this subject, and He knows, I love it when God answers me, even if it's a "No" or "Wait". When people ask how I know there is a God it's fun to explain "Because He always answers me when I pray." I, also, used to struggle with prayer out loud. I always felt like I was being judged on it or that it was a test of my faith. Christian version of the SAT. I have a friend who used to pray with me daily, and while I still felt unsure, I managed to pray out loud a few times. The thing is, I feel so insignificant in the grand scheme of things that I feel selfish, like I'm taking up His time with my piddly little ramblings. When I'm with Him, though, I feel as if I'm with my best friend and could talk for hours. "Did you see the goal our daughter kicked today God? She's becoming quite the little athlete. Oh, and thank you for the flowers that bloomed outside my door today it was amazing to see color first thing in the morning and they reminded me of you. And did I tell you that I think I may be in love? Any influence you have would be appreciated Lord." I have learned to be careful of what I pray for. I asked my friend to pray that I have more patience in my job once, and he said, "Be careful Jen." Turns out the Lord likes challenges and has a mighty sense of humor. When I pray for patience, because I don't think I have any left, sometimes my Awesome Father allows my situation to become a little more difficult and shows me that I have more than I thought. He is flawless in His parenting skills. I'm learning to be more diligent in my prayers,taking the time to talk to Him and thank Him and be reverent and loving. Prayer is my tin can stretched to Heaven on a wire. "Dad, can you hear me from this far away?"

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Christians vs "christians" (pew warmers)

I’ve found that the people who do not “do” church and who do not wish to have a relationship with God have had run-ins with “Christians”. Not Christians, mind you, but “Christians”. You know who they are, the pious holier than thou, too good to admit to being a sinner, pew warmers. The “Christians” who sit back an judge those in their eye line. Who think that because they go to church they are entitled to judge the sins of others. Forgetting that they, themselves, are yet of the same dust. “Christians” see themselves as more than believers. They see themselves as above the commandment of forgiveness. They see themselves as being the Lord’s “teacher’s pet”. The one who thinks spending time with non believers is above them. “It is not right” they say to surround themselves with sinners. Again forgetting that they are not above sin. Forgetting, as well, that non-believers need the influence of believers that much more. That Jesus Christ himself saw the benefit of spending time with non believers. We should, as believers, teach other new believers to cultivate their knowledge in the word, their faith in the Lord, and their strength of convictions. We should live a life of example, a life of kindness, forgiveness, and understanding. We should encourage other believers to lean on each other. I can ask for help when I fail. I can apologize when I’m wrong. I am not better than anyone else and yet, am no worse. I have a plan. To submit and obey my Savior, and to try to do what’s right. To know that I am made from the same dirt as the next man, that I sin and am far from perfect. It is my job as a believer to lead by example, the know the Word, and to love my Lord.

We're called to be warriors for Christ. To stand and be counted as one of God's children. Are we perfect? No. Will we ever be perfect? Nope. Should we still strive to be a jewel in the crown of our Father? Absolutely! There will be no better time as when we stand before God and He calls us His good and faithful servants. (ref. Matthew 25:21)

Honestly, why bother sitting in church for anywhere from 1-6 hours (depending on denomination) if that's all you plan to do? Where a few believers gather, He will be. Start gathering with friend's and neighbors, and co workers. Bring your family to the Lord. Forget about being shunned. So be it. Those who turn their backs will eventually be face to face with the King and have to account for their decision. Can you imagine? Just imagine standing in front of Christ. Standing in front of the person you denied. Hearing Him say, "Jeni (or whomever) brought Me to you. She stood right in your home and told you about Me. You scoffed, you yelled, you denied Me. Where do you stand on the subject now?" How amazing.

Okay all of you Sunday Servants, get up, go find someone, your kids, your mom, your friend, or neighbor, and tell them. Tell them that you want to have a Bible study, or just talk about Jesus. Answer some questions, immerse yourself in the Word, and let yourself get lost in in the history. Let's all be missionaries for the Lord. Find someone and get their mind thinking about God. Plant a seed and it will grow and blossom.

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Forgiveness (Yes, that means you have to stop being mad!)

Forgiveness is such a touchy subject in my family. We are all abuse survivors of some kind or another. From the oldest to the youngest. We've dealt with the oppression of some kind of physical abuse. I had to let go. I physically cannot survive anger. It's painful, and stress causes me seizures. To me, anger is like cancer, it spreads through your body slowly taking over. It starts physically, then takes over emotionally, and spiritually even. It can consume every bit of you. It tarnishes and makes Holy things unclean. I'm judged harshly. I am judged by my flesh and blood for being someone who can forgive. I told my mom I had a good childhood one day. She looked at me as if I had grown another head. I gave all the ugliness and pain to God. It wasn't instantaneous. It was hard and it took a long time to be able to say "I forgive _enter name here_". But I did and I can say it with full confidence of it being true. During my marriage I went through some serious struggles. I forgave him for one after a lot of growth in my Savior. God's grace allows us to forgive others. I reconciled my marriage and was ever faithful and yet, another even more serious situation arose. My heart screamed, "How God? Why God? I've been faithful. I let go of the first indiscretion." And, this one was against my child. Angry? Yes. Bitter? Yes. Ready to break a serious commandment? Oh Yes! And yet, I didn't. I played the game. I took on guilt that I was allowed to set down. I get to give my burdenous cross to the Lord. It took a long time. Recently my daughter had written in a school journal that she hates this person. I told her this is not an allowable statement. The Bible calls us to honor our father and mother. It doesn't say only if they deserve it. I mentioned that she should forgive her father and pray for his salvation and that I have. She looked at me as if I had betrayed her. For a moment, I felt as if I had. I believe that the Lord let's us experience things for a reason. To learn. Sometimes it's to call us back to Him when we've strayed too far. I am confident that by the time my daughter is of legal adulthood she will have forgiven her father. When the time comes all she will have to say to him is "I forgive you." That is my prayer for my daughter. That she can let go and let God heal her of the pain and past. And He can! He is so awesome and amazing that He can break any and all barriers and hardships. He can make something good out of nothing special. By the way, being angry and bitter only hurts you. The person you're mad at, sometimes, doesn't even know it. So let it go. Anger is like cancer. It will tear through you until it takes over.

Lord, I ask that whoever reads this, if anyone, will come to know You or have a strengthened relationship with You. That they lay down the burdens of their heart, leave them at Your feet and learn to forgive. God, I ask that You lay Your hand on anyone who needs to forgive and remind them that You are waiting to take over. Lord, keep my heart focused on You that I may write and speak as You move me. I thank you for the passion I have for You and the passion I have for writing. Thank You for being my true Father! In Your Son Jesus' Holy Name, Amen.

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Tamara Lowe at Christ Fellowship

Book Discussion: One Woman Against the Reich

So I read this book "One Woman Against the Reich" by Helmut W. Ziefle. Helmut was the youngest child of Maria and Georg Ziefle. It was during Hitler's reign that Maria, a German christian, found herself giving her family to the Lord as the men were being drafted for an army that was so solidly against God. She and her family stayed true to the Lord, even when one son showed some resistance. She was diligent in her teaching and leaning on God and was truly blessed for these things.

As I was reading I thought about how much her world and mine have in common. How Hitler's reign and the basic formulative society are so similar. This is why. Yes, as Christians, we can worship and teach, we are free to share the word of God, but sin has oppressed us. The big enemy in this time is not a mere man,but sin in general. Instead of speaking out we are silenced, and we gravitate towards political correctness. When Maria was greeted by her neighbors in the name of Hitler she greeted them in return "Gruss Gott" which was a powerful statement against the Reich and for the Lord. Today there are few of us brave enough to look sin in the eye and say "Gruss Gott". We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. I've taught my daughter that sin is sin. While some have bigger impacts and bigger consequences, sin is sin. It's almost like society embraces demoralization. And then, my friends, I am the weird one. I'm the one that no one understands.

For a great read, one that will make you think, this is the book. Look for similarities from then to now. Keep your mind open to seeing Maria's heart and her strong love and devotion to the Lord. That is what we need. Courage of conviction, to stand and be counted as a child of God.

Jesus Himself says {22} Blessed are you when
men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22

I'd rather be blessed by my King than loved here on earth.

*The Jesus Loving Princess*
*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Failing Pastors and Christian or Religious Leaders

The men (women too) who teach us and lead us in our walk with the Lord are just that, teachers and leaders. They are NOT Christ Himself. They are to emulate Him and walk closely with Him and be men (and women) of upstanding lives certainly. Someone on a forum I’m part of is considering changing churches because her pastor is separated from his wife and has been for some time. She just heard it from a third party and now is seeing him as a man instead of a leader, a man who failed and lied, no less. It makes me sad to hear that. I love knowing my leader is a person too. That he sometimes fails just like me and he can keep his faith intact. While I pray for the relationship battles he is going through I can see what kind of faith he has by how he handles the situation. Of course, if he stepped out on his wife with another woman then I would find someone who can practice what he preaches, so to speak. Since this particular man had chosen to disclose only to the elders of the church, and the information given was by gossip (ß BAD) then he might have been waiting to see how God would make this all work out. No particulars were given so it’s possible it’s something that he had no control over. It’s funny, because we see these leaders as flawless missionaries in a way. High profile topic coming your way à Take Catholicism for instance, the priests who abused the children, a lot of media surrounded this and people were thoroughly shocked. Ummmmm, what about the regular men who do it? They deserve to be ostracized and dragged through the media and put on display too. I digress. When the men of faith fail they topple off the pedestal that we put them on. Should they be walking as straight in the faith as they profess? Absolutely! Of course, as Christians, so should we. “But Jeni, we’re just dust that sins, it’s in our nature!” Guess what, we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. (ref. Romans 3:23) Not just you and me, but every single man, woman and child in history, except Jesus Christ Himself. Yes, we hold our spiritual leaders to a higher standard, yes, they should be ready for that task, but, we can’t stone them (anymore) for failing. Even when your spiritual leader falls, or fails, it’s a growth opportunity. How will they deal with it? How will they allow God to guide them from sin? That’s what it’s all about anyway. Better yet kids, what can you learn, and change in your life from their example?

Side note: Gossip and slander is very naughty! If you’re not getting information first hand then it’s gossip. We are all guilty of gossip (especially the Ladies),however, there is no way you are getting the whole story if it’s not firsthand. Add to that the way stories have a tendency to change and twist to affect the response.

Example: Ed says to Mike, “Today my wife left me, we’d been arguing a lot and so she’s going to stay at her mom’s for a couple weeks and we’ll talk when she gets back. We’re really not telling people about it, but you’re my friend and I knew you’d understand and can maybe lift us up in prayer.” Mike goes home and tells his wife the story but adds, “I knew they were having trouble. Did you see the way she was looking at Dan last week?” His wife tells her friend Marge the story Ed gave but adds, “Mike said that Ed’s wife has been seeing Dan on the sly.” Marge goes to Cindy and relays the message adding the shock factor of a hotel bill. And so forth and so on and next thing you know Ed hears the new story and punches poor Dan in the face and accuses him of stealing his wife and Dan’s wife leaves him based on some stupid rumor that should never have been started. THAT, my friends, is gossip, slander and the damage it can cause.

We turn to our Bibles and Jesus spoke about this very subject in Matthew chapter 12 verse 36. But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. (NASB)

There it is folks, in plain red and white.

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Politics, Christianity, and Gas Prices

I met my father a few weeks ago, and during a recent phone call (2 days before the elections) my father decided that I should be introduced to his political rant. I don’t give two hoots about politics. People start talking about politics and how horrible the past or present officers are and my eyes glaze over. I smile and nod. Here is why. Certainly, I am an American and proud to be so, but there are so many other topics to fight about that are more important. Whining and being angry about something we can’t change for 4 years is a waste of breath. I have my beliefs and I vote accordingly and it’s no one’s business how I do it or why. Besides, the Lord is in control anyway, no matter who is in office. The Lord is a much better topic to get into a heated debate over. It’s completely worth the breath it takes too. There are 2 things I will stand and discuss while giving my opinion, and find the topics completely worth the time, energy, and oxygen necessary. The first is abortion, and the second is my faith. (Both are topics for another blog entry.)

This of course leads me to gas prices. Why, why, WHY do people insist on whining and complaining about the price of gas? The price is paid no matter what it is. You can choose to just drive up, pay it, and continue with your day, or you can choose to stand and complain and have great debates about it which, of course, inevitably leads to a political debate. I chose to tackle the price of milk. Being a single mom, I would go to the store and buy a gallon of milk for about $2.50 and then a week later buy the same gallon of milk for $5.50. (More than a gallon of gas!) I came to the conclusion that there must have been a shortage of cows. (Though there are several dairies in the area I was living in.) No one cared about my rant about the price of milk. No one cared until… I made the comment, “I guess the price of groceries has to rise because of the price of gas rising to get it to us.” Sure, now everyone wants to talk about gas prices and the political moves that may have made it so high.

I no longer discuss the price of milk, or gas for that matter. My eyes glaze over when I hear someone say “gas”, “president”, or “governor”. I make my choices based on my views and beliefs as a Christian. I will not justify it, or discuss it because to any given person I may be wrong. Salvation is a much better way to spend my breath, and time.

That said, do you know Christ?

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*

Come on girls, SPARKLE!

I was reading another blog the other day and it is written by a single dad (clue). He had photographs of magazines with "beautiful" girls on the cover and he apologized to women for our insecurity. (Debating on putting in a link)(Link is below) As I was reading this I was thinking, "I'm sure not perfect and he's hitting the nail on the head about women". I thought also "I don't want to be "beautiful", I want to SPARKLE" No not like Edward in Twilight, I want to SHINE for JESUS and let Him show in me. I'm as insecure as they come. I'm super fat and I don't think much of my personality either. Physically, I can't stand myself. If I can look in the mirror and SPARKLE and SHINE, if I can show compassion the way Christ does, if I can lead by example, fight the good fight, walk with my Savior, sing praise and Hallelujah, nurture the wounded, pray for people, be a friend, be a shoulder to cry on, lend an ear to listen, use who I am and what I love to share the word, the truth, with others... Can't that make me SPARKLE?

Women spend so much time on what's in season, what's in fashion, and how to be a size 0 that they've forgotten how to SPARKLE. I have seen women who GLOW with radiance because the Lord surrounds their life. When they speak it is blessed and they are far more beautiful and articulate than any model. We try so hard to fit into this little box that society created (which keeps getting smaller by the way) that we've forgotten how wonderful it is to be individualized and unique. I have weight to lose, I do, I'm working on it. That kind of beauty can't happen overnight. I take full responsibility of what I've done to my body, but I can still be pretty, beautiful even. When I fully immerse myself in the Word, when inspiration strikes and I write, I'm happy and my eyes start to SPARKLE. People will stop to let me know that my eyes SPARKLE. When Jesus is my focus I start to SHINE. How wonderful to have that available, to be beautiful because you're shining with the Spirit. So come on girls, spend less time trying to get half nekkid on a magazine skinny and more time SHINING and SPARKLING. Be beautiful because God says your are not because Red Book or COSMO says you are.
(Yes, I realize this is a typical fat girl blog. "It's what's on the inside that counts" but it's not an excuse. It's to be inspiring to women who should just be proud to be women and beautiful because they're godly women.)

*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*


Link to the single dad blog
http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html

Submition just another 4 letter word

The great mystery of Ephesians 5. Why do men still throw the submission card on the table? We're a liberated gender now. Submit? Pah! In your dreams! Woman Power! Burn the Bras! Pardon me, I digress. I can't answer why guys try to use this passage against us. But Ladies, seriously, we are called to submit. Our husbands are called to love us selflessly. As they love themselves. And believe it or not kids, this is the recipe for a lasting marriage. I can say that as a divorcee because it's common sense. The first step is marrying a believer to begin with. Jesus said to do this in II Corinthians 6 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?"

So first off don't marry a non believer. Then as believers put your marriage in the Lord's hands. Husbands love your wives like Christ loves us and Wives submit to your husbands. Full circle, the more we submit the more he will love. But it takes both people to make it work. Will it be perfect? Nope. It will be amazing and blessed and wonderful. More importantly full of God! Also, this is sheer common sense because women naturally are nurturing and more emotional and need LOVE to respond. We understand the emotional aspect of marriage and children. THAT'S WHY WE ARE THE ONES WHO DO IT! Men are logical. They naturally want to know the how and why things work the way they do. That is why they are our leaders. They aren't usually given to emotional fits of fancy. That's just the way it is.

A quick side note girls... When dating and shopping for THE ONE, keep that scripture in mind and don't yolk yourself with a non believer thinking you are creating evangelical or mission dating. I read a book and it was illustrated along these lines. Stand on a chair and have someone (an adult) stand next to you. Hold hands and try to pull them up onto the chair with you. I'll wait.......... Probably didn't go so well. Now have them pull you down off the chair. It's easier to be pulled down than to pull someone up. That is why God wants us to be yolked (yep like oxen) to someone we don't have to drag around. Eventually they'll be dead weight. If you can start out on the same spiritual playing field you've won half the battle. Now get out there, put your bra back on and be proud to fill the role that God gave us as women!

--
*The Jesus Loving Princess*

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*