As Christmas fast approaches, I am pulled down into my usual rut of sadness. I, of course, feel joy because I have my Lord, and my daughter and loved ones, but this post I dedicate to my little boy, my daughter's half brother Isaiah.
Dear Isaiah,
I'm writing this letter to you, as I do every year, to tell you my son that we miss you and love you. That we've had a good but weird year, I worked a lot and was gone a lot. Your sister missed you everyday, every hour, every minute, just as I do. Thinking of you and hoping you are well and happy and well cared for. Worrying about you every day.
In August I met my father, my step mother and two more brothers and Son, they'd love you so much if you were here. You'd be scooped into their loving arms and devoured and loved.
Your grandmother has clammed up and holds her love and fear for you tight inside. The 25th is just around the corner and we will sing to you our birthday wishes, have a celebration of your life, and cry just a little.
You won't know me when you're grown, but I love you and always will, like any mother who's had their child ripped from their arms. You, my Son, are my heart. Goodnight Boy. And Happy birthday. ~Mommy
Lord, I ask of You this Christmas, to allow my eyes to stay fast on You. That you ease my heart of this painful burden, and help Sarah and I to heal. Lord, it's been so long since this child has been away and, yet, for me it could have been yesterday. Father, please hear the plea of this mother, that You keep him close to You. Be protective of His body, mind and soul, and let us one day meet again. In Your Precious Name I pray, Amen.
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