What a fiasco! I've been a pretty "roll with it" kind of parent. I get blindsided sometimes but if I roll with it, I find, I come out relatively unscathed. I always know that God has a plan and I'm comfortable with that. However, last night I was admiring my daughter and I became afraid. My daughter knows her mind and has her whole life. She is a child and has, of course, lied on occasion, but she doesn't make a practice of it because it makes her feel bad. She has a hard time lying which is to my benefit. She is physically beautiful, and it is both a blessing and a curse. She has strength of character that is unparalleled. As I watched her playing makeover I panicked! I saw her transform from a beautiful little girl to a stunning young lady. I literally could not catch my breath, because someday soon, sooner than I even realize, she will be grown. She will be independent, and will no longer seek my guidance. She already thinks she knows everything. I think also, that this was not God's plan. He planned for a child to be reared by a mother and father and here I am doing my absolute best on my own. Is my best enough? Am I enough? Will she be who she was born to be with only me as a parent? I am afraid. I'll persevere, and with the Lord's guidance I'm sure I'll make it through. But it is a cold and lonely place sometimes... this single parenthood. I know God's got my back, I know He is behind me, but I'm still afraid. If it were only affecting me I'd go, and yet it's more than that, it affects the one I love more than my own flesh, and it makes me afraid.
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*The Jesus Loving Princess*
*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*
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