I'm not traditional. I used to be. I used to see the white picket fence through my rose colored glasses. Ward Cleaver bringing home the bacon, me in my pearls with 2.5 kids. My ex husband not only ripped my rose colored glasses off my face, but then jumped up and down on them until they were obliterated. The world is a very scary place, and one the one hand it's scary to be alone, though sometimes scarier to let someone new in. When I was younger my friends and I would whisper in the dark on sleepovers about Mr. Right. How tall, eye color, kindness, gentleness, humor, faith... Faith was always a big one. It surprises me now that even then we said, "He has to be a christian." With rosy red embarrassment creeping into my cheeks I will humor you and say this. When I was young my Mr. Right had to have these qualifications: He had to be taller than me and older than me. He had to be kind, a Christian, of course, and love to laugh. He had to be, in my mind, larger than life and be ready and willing to protect me if need be. (Abuse made that important to me.) Basically I had be able to feel safe and secure. Over the years my standards have changed. I now have a daughter to think about, and some things are less important than others. I really have no physical description because it's not important to me. I still think an older man would be best because guys my age are still being boys, and I'm a ready made family now. He still has to share my faith, but more than that we need to see eye to eye on specific topics. Whether to have more children or not is up in the air, but the most important is this. I want a Godly man who will have my back no matter what. Who will stand behind me, back to back, and be my partner. In this world filled with so much sin and depravity, I just want that one man who will be there fighting the good fight right beside me. The man who knows that I have his back and knows I will stand strong knows he can lean on me when he needs to and allows me to lean on him when I need to. Who will be the father my daughter needs.
Sometimes, I feel alone, and then I remember; I am the most fortunate woman alive! I have the perfect Father for my daughter. I have the perfect Husband. He is older than I am, He is Holy and Perfect and Everything. He has my back no matter what. He loves me always and rebukes me gently when He must. He knows what is best for Our daughter and He helps me to make the right choices for her. He guides and directs me. Sometimes I have to be reminded, but when I trust Him and obey Him and submit and surrender to Him I am so blessed by His love. Having been married before, I sometimes miss physical contact and just lying next to someone talking in the dark... I have prayed before for the Lord to lay His hand on me for comfort and He has. Ever faithful is my God! I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am truly blessed, I have found The ONE. I have found Mr. Right, and He isn't who I thought it would be.
And guess what! Someday my Prince will come! (Disney had it right!)
*The Jesus Loving Princess*
*Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5*
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